Couple Counselling Sydney CBD

Your Couple Relationship Satisfaction

People come to relationship and marriage counselling for a number of reasons and at different stages in their relationship.

Couples often request relationship counselling to improve communication, because of increased conflict and difficulties resolving differences, or because their connection is not a close as they would like it to be.

Improve communication, reduce conflict, have a deeper connection.

In fast-paced current lifestyles, with family and work commitments, it can be hard for couples to find the time to nurture their relationship and it is not uncommon for partners to find themselves feeling more distant and lonely in the relationship.

It can be difficult to know when to make the first step towards booking a session…

I encourage couples to come in early - even for one or two couple sessionsIf you have thought about coming to counselling chances are you could benefit from talking in a professional and confidential setting and getting support and resources to turn any difficulties around.

Counselling for relationship problems

Relationship conflict and feeling misunderstood by your partner can be frustrating and painful.

Relationships that don’t address disconnection or increased conflict are at risk of the distance increasing, or of one looking outside the relationship for the connection and fulfillment they are not experiencing.

There is strong evidence and research about the effectiveness of relationship counselling.

Help with your relationship

If you have thought about seeking help with you relationship don’t wait until things get worse.

Research suggests couples seek help from relationship counselling on average seven years after a problem is first noticed in the relationship. A lot of negative feeling and unnecessary hurt can occur in this time.

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Request a free 15 minute consultation to talk about how I can help

Therapy to Have the Relationship You Want

Marriage and Couples Counselling Issues

• Pre-marriage counselling - I offer a pre-marriage counselling Prepare-Enrich package, which includes three couples counselling sessions and a couple assessment tailored to your relationship

• Negative impact of outside stressors - such as work commitments financial concerns, individual health concerns - physical and mental

• Extended family differences and difficulties

• Desire discrepancy and sexual issues

• Relationship betrayals and trust issues - such as after an affair, or after the discovery of partners use of porn

• Impact on relationship of addictions including alcohol, drugs, porn, sex, eating, work, shopping and gambling

• Impact of unexpected or traumatic events

• Separation counselling

What to expect - in the first session

In our first meeting we will talk about what you each hope to get from coming to couples counselling, including how you each perceive and experience the difficulties in the relationship.

Its not uncommon for each person to have different concerns and for one to want to attend counselling more than the other

I will listen to you both to understand your experience - it is important that each person feels understood as we together identify places for change and goals for the relationship. We may explore relevant relationship history and information, and changes over time. You will have the opportunity to consider different strategies and options to help you both - in the immediate short term and as longer term goals and solutions.

I am experienced in and enjoy working with couples who identify as heterosexual, gay, lesbian and gender diverse.

What to expect - in couples counselling

Couple and marriage counselling is about attending to what is not working and interrupting unhelpful patterns of communication and relating, but it is about more than this.

Effective couple counselling doesn’t just talk about the difficulties, we will also pay close attention to what is going well …

Effective couples counselling needs to also attend to what is going well - to re-establish connection and intimacy, to enhance your friendship base - and we will also look at the positive elements and strengths of your relationship.

It can help prior to the first meeting to think about your hopes for your relationship, to consider the positive vision you have for your future together.

The first meeting is an opportunity for us to begin to explore your concerns and some initial goals as you determine if my approach is one you believe will help you achieve these.

How I work with relationships and couples

My overall therapeutic approach in couples therapy is systemic - which means I will understand your problems and difficulties within the context they began, developed and currently exist.

I will work with you both to understand your experience - it is firstly important that each person feels understood as we begin to identify possible relationship goals for couples therapy.

A systemic approach does not locate the problem in any one person in the couple relationship, it seeks to understand the interconnectedness of patterns of communication between people and how each person elicits and responds to behaviours from the other. It is a relational approach that helps couples identify their unhelpful patterns and ways of relating and develop new, more effective and satisfying patterns.

I am also influenced by the work of Esther Perel and John & Julie Gottman.

Esther Perel is a leading couples therapist whose writing on sexual desire in long term relationships - balancing the dual needs of security and eroticism in relationships - has been widely influential in how we think about erotic intelligence. Her exceptional podcasts series “Where Should We Begin” takes you into her consulting room with her couple therapy clients in real time, offering an intimate and profound experience as they navigate through various presenting difficulties.

John and Julie Gottman have shaped the way we think about and understand relationships through their research over more than forty years. Their research identifies and describes what makes relationships last - pitfalls and what to look out for, alongside what to focus on and build into your relationship. I have included more information about their research below and you can look at their website here.

Other theories and model influencing my approach include Emotionally Focused Therapy, Attachment Theory, Bowen Theory, Family of Origin and I incorporate elements of existential psychotherapy, internal family systems and use of somatic therapy.

I use an interpersonal, experiential and client-centred approach.

Couples Therapy podcast - highly recommended

If we are to maintain desire with one person over time we must be able to bring a sense of the unknown into a familiar space

Esther Perel